Why can't I be "normal"?

I am 4'9 (more or less), I am 13 years old, I have no friends, nobody wants to hang out with me, I get bad grades, I'm not strong or athletic, I am getting anorexic, I've never had a girlfriend, I'm ugly, I have bad hair, I'm an outcast of society.

The only things I am good at are web design (php/MySQL/css), graphics, broadcasting, business management, etc. (http://veraciousmedia.com is one of 'em) -- That's really not a lot compared to what peers have. They have looks, talent, height, friends, girlfriends, and the whole deal... Plus most of them are standing pretty. Why can't I have that life? I always get picked on for being short and I feel like I will never amount to anything. I don't even like myself now. What can I do, what's wrong with me?

Why can't I be "normal"?

You are still a teenager. Do not worry about height. You will become tall. There is still lot of time for you to become tall.

Normally one can expect to grow up to 20 to 21 years.

Do not get disappointed that you are ugly and all that stuff. Have confidence and concentrate on studies and in subjects of interest. Gain skills and expertise to excel in your field.

Once you excel in your field name, fame money - - - all will be after you.

All the best. Go ahead with your efforts. Nobody is born great. Hard work will make you great.

Why can't I be "normal"?

You are 13 years old. Why are you so worried about girlfriends and looking strong/athletic? Well, that is normal! You are normal to be worried about these things and there are people out there in the same position as you.

Just focus on your education right now. It's the most important thing you can do to secure a brighter future, as cliche as it sounds.

Get counseling to gain some self-confidence and deal with the anorexia issue.

It's great that you have those talents (web design, graphics, etc.). Utilize your talents and work on it to turn it into your talent.

Looks, friends, girlfriends, and the so-called "whole deal" is not going to lead to success in the long-run.

Why can't I be "normal"?

There's nothing wrong with you. I think the most important thing you can do at this point in your life is to eat what's good for you, and keep working on what you like and are obviously good at.

From what you write, you sound like a smart, talented young person! Don't pay too much attention to your grades; they are often subjective. It's good to try to do well in school, but you should know that even Einstein sucked in schools early in his life. You should be proud of yourself, stand tall, and just say screw you to those who don't appreciate your qualities. Consider that their loss. Look for people with similar interests, even if that goes outside your age group.

Looks change over time. You are 13, before or at the beginning of your growth spurt, and, guys can keep growing until they are about 17 or 18 (some grow into their 20s)! You can grow 4 inches in one year. I used to be taller than most guys at your age (I was and am 5'4") and felt freakish; by the time I finished high school, I was shorter than all of them because they grew so quickly. (Girls' growth spurts occur earlier than boys.)

But you can't keep growing if you deprive yourself of nutrition. Eat healthy foods and exercise regularly if you want to grow taller! (If you have a hard time keeping food down, etc., get professional help; school counselors should be able to help you find resources.)

Do keep in mind, there is no such thing as "normal," even if it seems like there is -- what's right is different for everyone.

Also if you feel short, you should know that as I grew up, I felt like shorter guys had more interesting things to say and had better personalities, probably because they didn't have the superficial looks to prop them up. I hated tall good looking guys who were full of themselves. (My husband used to be a skinny nerd who went to computer camps, and I adore him, because he has interesting things to say; also he now has a job everyone envies, because he followed his passion using his computers.)

Keep working on things you like, things that give you joy, and you'll be cooler than all of them. And watch Romy and Michele's High School Reunion! The movie tells a story that's remarkably true in real life: those you think of as jocks and winners in Jr/Sr high school tend to grow up to be losers...

Why can't I be "normal"?

handle each of those things one by one, each after another

Why can't I be "normal"?

You remind me of me at 13. I was 5 ft nothing entering high school and behind my peers physically, emotionally and mentally. Now I am a 6'2", 185 lb, successful 34 year old man. There is nothing wrong with you. You are developing slower than other people your age. I know how painful it is but you will catch up to them. In the meantime, here are some practical ideas to bridge the gap.

If you want friends, be a friend. Practice being thoughtful, caring and considerate of others. If you fail, forgive yourself and try again tomorrow. Start a practical exercise program and healthy diet. You will feel better and gain some self-respect. Pick one thing you don't like about yourself and watch what other "cool" people do differently. If you see a good idea, try it out and/or make it your own. There is nothing wrong with trying new and different ideas; clothes, hairstyles, slang, music. Make it into a big experiment. Sometimes the only way to find what works is trial and error. The last two are very important: 1. find the fun in every situation. People are attracted to people who know how to have a good time when everyone else is bored silly. 2. be calm and cool when others give you a hard time. practice self-control.

Try not to worry about girls and the kids that "have it all". The kids that have it all between 13-17 are pathetic has-beens at later on in life. Work hard, keep your chin up and good luck.

Why can't I be "normal"?

listen you sound just like my friend, he was like that, but over the years he grew more confident and comfortable with himself. just make sure you open to everyone, dont shut off your friendships, always give people a chance and always be willing to take chances.

if that doesnt work, come over to my house, ill make you feel better ;)