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New Words for 2007

* SALAD DODGER.

An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

* SWAMP-DONKEY

A deeply unattractive person.

* TESTICULATING.

Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

* BLAMESTORMING.

Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a

Project failed, and who was responsible.

* SEAGULL MANAGER.

A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and

Then leaves.

* ASSMOSIS.

The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by

sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

* SALMON DAY.

The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get

screwed and die.

* CUBE FARM.

An office filled with cubicles.

* PRAIRIE DOGGING.

When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and

people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also

applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

* SITCOMs.

Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn

into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home

with the kids or start a "home business".

* SINBAD.

Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

* AEROPLANE BLONDE.

One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.

The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it

to work again.

* ADMINISPHERE.

The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and

file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly

inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to

solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless

paperwork and processes.

* GOING FOR A McSHIT.

Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food,

you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member,

your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known

as a McShit with Lies.

* 404.

Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not

Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.

* AUSSIE KISS.

Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

* OH - NO SECOND.

That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just

Made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

* GREYHOUND.

A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

* JOHNNY-NO-STARS.

A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who

works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges

displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show

their level of training.

* MILLENNIUM DOMES.

The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from

The outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

* MONKEY BATH .

A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo!

Aa! Aa! Aa!".

* MYSTERY BUS.

The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the

Toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so

the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

* MYSTERY TAXI.

The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake

up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your

bed instead.

* BEER COAT.

The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise

At 3:00am .

* BEER COMPASS.

The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze

cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how

you got here, and where you've come from.

* BREAKING THE SEAL.

Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After

breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be

required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

* TART FUEL.

Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

* PICASSO BUM.

A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's

Got 4 buttocks.